Bringing Up
María Vargas-Pión
Dominican Republic
ESL 1300
Raising children is similar to planting a seed in the land. Depending on what type of soil is put on it and what type of weather it is exposed to, it will probably affect the kind of fruit that the tree will have . Therefore, what parents do now with their children will affect the kind of world that they will have after the parents are gone. Consequently, in order to bring up better children parents should be aware of the different factors that may affect children’s bad or good behavior.
One of the factors that plays a major role in children’s development is society. As a part of society, parents are the first contact that children have with society. As a result, parents have to be very careful in what they do and say at home because children will prefer to copy what they see and hear instead of what parents teach them. Furthermore, as children get older, they will want to be accepted in society, and as a consequence, they will try to follow what is around them, the neighborhood, and the school. For example, they may choose the type of music that everyone in the community is listening to, they may wear the type of clothing that a group of people are wearing, or they may do what their friends are doing, such as drinking or smoking just because they want to join them. Of course, parents are not going to choose their children's friends nor their social life, but they can introduce their children to a positive environment where they can have a variety of options.
Another factor that can make a big difference in children’s behavior is to guide them to choose what is better for themselves. As an illustration, parents can expose children to different activities, such as sports (volleyball, soccer, swimming, baseball, basketball and tennis), music class to learn how to play an instrument, art class to create or perform what they want; or voluntary services of the town. For example, my son who is only six years old had played soccer and T-ball, and now he is into basketball. He already knows how to swim and he is learning how to play the piano. We, my husband and I, think that even though he may or may not be a professional athlete nor a musician, he will know what he likes and what he does not. These are only some activities that may help children discover what they like and what kind of person they want to become for society. It is valuable to note that parents cannot decide for their children; instead we are only there to guide them. So, parents must allow children to make mistakes, let them explore the world, let them to go to a party that he or she was not invited to, let them buy clothing that do not fit well, and let them sing a song even if they cannot. Finally, let children build their own experiences.
The most important factor that can make a huge impact on children’s good or bad behavior is to establish good communication with children, and it may start really early in children’s lives. As soon as the mother becomes pregnant, both mothers and fathers can establish communication with the baby by just talking and touching him through the mother's stomach. This will help the baby to feel that parents care about him or her. As time goes by, parents should look for ways that may help to keep that communication with their child. For example, try not only to register him or her to an activity class, but to participate as well. Let them know that they can count on and trust you. Show them that once you were a child, and that you experienced their same feelings. Above all, to have good communication, parents must listen instead of talking all the time and when they think they are losing their children, they should just hug them. Then, the children will feel their parents' hearts and the parents will find their children again.
To conclude, parents can study an entire encyclopedia of how to bring up children as good citizens for society, but the trick is to apply the knowledge by carefully analyzing each step of their children’s lives and adjusting what they know according to the circumstances. Undoubtedly, this advice may help, but in the end children will decide their own lives.